Pastor's wife. Technically, this is a role I've had for many years. Somehow, it's just not the same when your husband is a Small Groups Pastor or an Associate Pastor. To think about us planting a church, and James being the lead Pastor is....well, it's CRAZY!
I'm helping lead a Bible study in Castle Rock right now where the main point is around our identity in Christ. So, I know very well - am going beyond that to even help teach it - that our identity is not found in our "roles". My identity isn't in my being James' wife, it's not in being Nathan, Ellie, and Emma's mom, it's not in being my parents' daughter, it's not in being a Director at PwC, and it's not going to be in being the pastor's wife of a young church plant either.
That said, it does make me think about what kind of a pastor's wife I want to be. I think of many that I've known over the years and the different approaches they've taken to the role. I don't feel like I fit the mold. But those that know me know that I have many flaws, but I'm nothing if not real. One of my biggest pet peeves is if I have to fake laugh for someone. So, if I'm laughing at or with you, you know that I really think it's funny. James and I are also both really open. I'm a fan of being frank about our faults. It also opens us up to risk of being hurt or having that used against us. I can just hear many pastor's wives that have gone before us thinking "You say that now." And they very well may be right, but we're going to try anyway. We welcome your prayers for protection in that area. We have thick skin, but not so thick that we can't be burned. In the end, I'm really looking forward to the role. I won't be perfect at it, but I'll be me. That's the plan. So, don't tell me a joke unless it's actually funny.
When I think about some of my other roles (mostly the one of mother), there's a lot of fear involved with a church plant. Where will it be? When will we move? Our neighborhood in Highlands Ranch is so great - what if my kids don't have that in the new place? Will there be good schools? Will we find a house we like? Will I be able to make friends? Will the community embrace us and agree with our vision and mission? But here's what I know. God asked us to do this. I know that in the core of my being - no doubt. If I know that's true, he will absolutely, positively, take care of the rest. To be clear, without question, the people that we're going to interact with in this church plant are by far our highest priority as a family. I've spent hours praying that God takes us to a community where we can build relationships and show people the Jesus we know - not the Christians that the world stereotypes. So, when those questions come into my mind and heart, I remind myself of that, and I trust. With that said, I want to share how I'm thinking about some of the personal impacts and how you can be praying more specifically for us.
I fully believe that this plant will be our life's work. (That said, if God were to call us elsewhere, we'd go without hesitation.) To that end, I've really been asking God that our next move is our last - or at least our last for many many years. It doesn't have to be our dream house, but I'm praying it will be functional and have the potential to be a place we can stay for a long time. I will sacrifice any and everything that I'm about to write about if God asks us to, but for those of you who like to pray specifically for us, here's my house list:
I'd like a front porch that is wide enough for our porch swing so that the kids don't hit the wall of the house when I'm trying to take a nap.
I'd like a bath tub in my master bath room - Momma needs a good soak sometimes.
I'd like a living room that can accommodate our small, but hopefully growing, church plant in the early years.
I'd like plenty of space for parking. We plan to start the church out of our home, and I don't want parking to be an issue as we grow. (We also will eventually have 3 teenagers - Lord, help us.)
I'd like a welcoming back yard and basement so that our house can be the "cool" house for friends to come play (both kid friends and adult friends!)
I'd like a home office.
I'd like room for our kids and for guests when they come to stay.
I'd like for Nathan to have his own bathroom - at least someday. It won't be fun to compete with 2 older sisters.
Finally, I'd love it if our house were unique and not in a cookie cutter neighborhood. (Think Hatmaker farmhouse for those of you that know them.)
I'm also praying for our kids - that God will put us in a neighborhood where they have lifelong friends - or at least childhood long. I pray they have a heart for our vision and mission and participate in it from the beginning. I pray we can find ways to avoid the typical PK pitfalls and love our children well while also doing what God is asking of us for the church. We will absolutely make sacrifices for our family in favor of the church plant. But I pray that we make just as many sacrifices to the church plant for our kids so that they know they're loved. I pray that God provides a school that is right for them to grow up in. The community that we're heading towards has a very "spotty" school district. As I've looked around, one area has great schools and the next neighborhood over is middle of the road at best. There are charter schools and open enrollment, but I need God to guide us there - that's all foreign to me.
I pray that for me and James, too. We need some friends there - even some outside of the "church plant" circle - that can know us and speak encouragement into us. To be super vulnerable, I'd really like a local best friend, and I want that for James, too. I'm blessed with some really good friends - some here in Highlands Ranch and several close friends across the country. But I'd love to have a friend that is in my local community - when we get there - that is a life long friend.
God has done some amazing things even in the last week. It is so obvious that He is in this and is guiding our steps. He has made some connections and is working out some service opportunities especially that have me so excited. I really believe that engaging community is step one and that step two is introducing someone to Christ. That God is opening the doors for us to engage the community before we've even moved there is humbling.
As James said in his first post, we'll share more about how God got us here on this blog soon. (Some of you that read my personal blog may have read that post over there, but seems like we need to tell the story again here.) Once we're revealing the church plant location publicly, the whole story to date is really quite amazing. I look forward to sharing it with you. In the meantime, I've given you quite a lot to pray about already, I think. In case you're wondering, we're thinking we'd move towards the end of this school year, but we're praying for God's guidance on that decision also. We so appreciate your love and support and most importantly - your prayers on your behalf. We need them. This feels like the biggest decision and the turning point of our lives. It feels like we're just about to step off the cliff into what God put us on earth for.
