Some Thoughts on Women and their Role in Ministry (from Amy)

Women's roles in ministry is a big topic. It's one that I really became more keenly aware of in college when I chose to attend a Christian university affiliated with the Church of Christ. I've heard many people say things like "My parents said I could be whatever I wanted to be." or "My Dad was the head of our house, and he made all the decisions." I think in many cases, our upbringing shapes our view on women and their roles. Those two statements essentially exemplify two extremes. I know some friends who experienced the former who feel very empowered to go conquer the world. And then I met some lovely girls in college who were (just keeping it real here) paying thousands of dollars for a Home Economics degree in hopes of meeting a husband and staying home. (Note: I have no issue with that goal. I just think paying thousands of dollars at a private university for it may not be the best use of funds.) For the record, I believe marriage is a partnership and that if it's operating in a Godly way, both members get a voice in the decisions and will lovingly come to a conclusion even when they don't agree.

In my case, my parents very well may have talked to me about being whatever I wanted to be, but it's not what sticks out. I knew I was supposed to go to college - that much was clear. And I also remember my dad steering me towards a career that was in line with my talents. He may have wanted to me to make more money than the career path I was planning, but it just felt like he was trying to give me good life advice. (For the record, I'm glad I listened. I think teachers are some of our world's heroes, but I know for sure I am not meant to be one. That was the path my young mind originally had planned on.)

As I entered college at a traditional Church of Christ school, I realized what a big issue the role of women in ministry could be. This denomination, among many others like it, traditionally places some significant limits on the roles of women. To be fair, some of the more contemporary "CofC" churches have loosened up on this stance significantly - for which I applaud them - but there are rules at some churches that the only teaching role a women can fill is to teach boys in Sunday School up until a certain age. Otherwise, they would be "exercising authority over a man" - stunning.

As James and I think about the church plant, our bylaws, and the role of women specifically, I'm struck most by looking at how Jesus himself treated women. One of the first women he met was Anna, a prophet. He forgives and blesses the woman who covers his feet with perfume and kisses them. There's the woman he healed simply because she touched his robe, and women were the ones that first learned of Jesus' resurrection. This was all during a cultural time where the men dominated society! Jesus' treatment of women differed from the cultural norm of his time.

I work full time for an accounting firm as a Finance Director. I am blessed to get to work from home unless I'm traveling, and I have the flexibility to go meet a friend for coffee on occasion if my meeting schedule allows it - it often does. Some have questioned my job and whether I can be an effective church planter's wife with a job like that. I have even been quoted statistics of how many church plants fail if the wife has a career. Here's what I know. I know that my job is something I hold with an open hand. God can have it or change it - anytime he wants. If he asked me to quit it tomorrow, I'd quit tomorrow. For right now, though, I see my job as an enormous blessing handed to me directly from him. I really love the people I work with and what I'm doing. In fact, I've never loved my job more. That's not to say it's not hard or there aren't hard days, of course, but what job worth doing doesn't come with some hard days? In the midst of my demanding job, God is still giving me opportunities to meet new people, invite them to dinner or coffee, and build relationships. Imagine how much more I'll be able to do that when I'm not living 45 minutes from those people! And the true blessing of my job in this season is the financial freedom it gives us to be able to focus all of James' efforts on the church plant itself. We consider it a true blessing that he doesn't have to go get a full time job and try to do church planting on the side, as many church planters are forced to do. This will make a huge difference in both his ability to concentrate on doing ministry and developing relationships with people, as well as continuing to be involved as a father and husband.

I just attended "If: Gathering" this weekend with some friends. (Have you heard of this? If not, I encourage you to check it out. You can listen to the replay at ifgathering.com. Actually, by the time I'll post this, you can't. You have to buy it now. But you should.) It was a conference for women held in Austin that live streamed to groups all over the nation and world. The theme was around faith this year, and the teaching was out of Joshua. I will attempt to eloquently sum up my thoughts, but first let me start by giving you my favorite quotes.

• From Jennie Allen: If we're asking the questions "Am I enough?", "Will I be safe?" and "What will it cost?", then we're in the wrong book completely - the wrong narrative. This may be a hard reality, but it's so so true. We're NOT enough. But God is enough. It won't necessarily be safe. And it may well cost everything. Those aren't the questions. The story is about God - not us. How can he use us to dangerously affect the Kingdom for him?
• From Jen Hatmaker: God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good. We know we believe this in the day, but we find out if we believe it in the night. 
• Also from Jen: Faith is not the formula to get the good stuff, it IS the good stuff.
• Still Jen: It's safe to be faithful to a faithful God.
• Still Jen: Faith doesn't erase insecurity, doubt, suffering or fear...it just overcomes them.
• From Ann Voskamp: He crafts the beauty of women...refines you, defines you, remakes you, renames you: Beloved.
• Also Ann: Forgiveness is really forgiveness when forgiving the unforgivable.
• Still Ann: Woe is us for comparing our race to another's race when we are to be running for God.
• From Vivian Mubani: We have a limited view of God when our friendships are monocultural. (LOVE this.)
• From Christine Caine: Being faithful doesn't mean you're fearless. It just means you're more full of faith than fear. (Think feeya. She's Australian, mate.)
• Also Christine: The famous 7 last words of the church: We've never done it that way before!
• From Bianca Olthoff: Results are God's responsibility, response is ours.
• Also from Bianca: Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean God didn't promise it to you or that it doesn't exist. You just don't possess it yet.
• Still Bianca: Just because your progress isn't obvious doesn't mean your faith isn't working.

Our small group discussion was so good - really hitting on the hard questions. Things like: How can you trust a God who didn't promise us a lack of suffering? The answer? You can't. I think God didn't make that promise to us for a reason. You don't trust in the lack of suffering or good circumstances. The trust is that he will be there to help you overcome them. And the trust is in his larger plan and that he is some how, some way, working it out for good. We also talked about getting to a place where we want what God wants more than we want what we want. This is a daily - sometimes multiple times a day - question. Can we constantly relinquish our wants and desires for his? Such a simple question with such a hard answer.

And there was such a good discussion on race. Dear God, please ensure our new church is diverse. Not even just racially, but socioeconomically, politically, all of it. What I love so much is that even with our small community group, there is already clear diversity. I pray so much that it continues. I don't want a church that looks and is all exactly like me. We are made strong in our diversity. May we be leaders in the conversation on improved race relations in this country.

And then we had such a great discussion in our small group about the purpose God has given us as women. One of my friends heard a comment on the radio from a Christian woman that said: Behind every great Christian man is a good Christian woman. While that might sometimes be true, Lynn Hybels made a great point of how so much of the suffering in the world is experienced by women and children. We all have a purpose in joining God's kingdom to love the marginalized and those who are suffering. Also, if Jesus took time to recognize and honor women, it leads me to the conclusion that women's roles in ministry are not to just be the invisible Christian women behind the great Christian men. God puts specific purpose inside us all - man or woman.

Which leads me to our last main conversation topic. What if we don't know what our "purpose" is yet?? What if we feel it's more than the day to day ministry of our families and the local places we may serve? I admit, I'm blessed to know my purpose - for now. But three years ago I didn't know it. And if I'm being super honest, I didn't even want to. I thought I was fine where I was. Thank God, he changed my heart. If you're in a place where you are asking God for your purpose, know that I'm praying he reveals it to you. I have such a heart for all women (and ok, yeah. I guess for the guys, too. Whatever.) to know and live in their God-given purpose. Dear God, may it be so. Amen.